Good evening everyone!  We have one more day left in 2007.  Can you believe it!!  It’s been quite a year for our family.  A year we won’t soon forget.  We learned a lot this past year and experienced many different feelings and emotions.  During this past year, God taught us patience, trust, courage, faith and determination.  We’ve faced things we never expected we would have to face.  Thru out it all the one constant in our lives was God.  Not only did Jennifer and Parham and the rest of the family show what was faith and trust was about, our little warrior showed us all what bravery and courage really was about.  Amy and Chris Tripp left a message on Beau’s website a while back.  I want to share it with you today.

Good evening all!! Sorry I didn't get an updated posted yesterday.  It turned out to be a very busy day and we had an unexpected out of town trip come up.  Tonight I want to share with you an email I received this week from one of Beau's Nurses.  Beau was blessed to have so many special nurses.  They were all wonderful and treated him with the utmost love and care.  Felisha sent me the sweetest email with some fond memories of Beau’s days spent at the hospital.  Here is what she had to say.  There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of Beau or Jennifer & Parham or Grammy. You guys are such an inspiration and so strong. I miss seeing you guys around the hospital. I have been keeping up with the updates and every time I try to leave a message on the guestbook my eyes start tearing up and I just can't think of anything to say. Finally I realized that what I can do is write about some of the good times that I remember spending with Beau. Even though it seems like I was the "bad nurse" always giving out the "ouchies", Beau never held that against me. Every time I would return to his room after the "ouchie" he would never scream or cry. He was so cooperative, he never held grudges. It's like he knew that I was just trying to help him.  I remember a time when he was feeling pretty well and he was riding around on his IV pole with his "pappys" tied around his neck.  He would spit one out and put another in his mouth, as if they had different flavors.  We would play peek-a-boo around the corners and he would just smile and laugh.  I remember a few months ago when he came to the hospital the day after he went to a parade.  Jennifer and Parham bought him candy and he rode around the nurses’ station throwing the candy at all the nurses and doctors.  It was the "Beau Parade"!!  Beau was the best patient ever because he loved his nurses and doctors. I remember Beau going around the nurses’ station in his wagon calling "Doctor!" or "Nurse!.  Whoever was his nurse for the day, she/he would be the only one that Beau would allow to reset the IV pole or give him his medication. That would make me feel so special (if I was his nurse for the day;-). But I think that my favorite memory of all would be the day that Jennifer and Grammy packed Beau in the wagon and took him downstairs to the respiratory bake sale. Beau came back with a bag of ham biscuits and said that he wanted to give them to the "nurse".  Every nurse on the floor came into his room and Jennifer would ask "Beau, is that the nurse?" and he would say "no". Finally, I walked into the room and Jennifer asked the question and Beau nodded his head yes and handed me the bag with the big smile on his face. That was Beau. He was a giver and he always loved sharing and helping others. It may have been handing out candy to the nurses or helping his nurse flush his hickman, he always wanted to give and help people. He gave me and all the other nurses so much more than just candy and ham biscuits. Beau taught me that no matter what is going on in my life, I have to remember that there is something much bigger than me and my situation. In the midst of all my problems, I tell myself that God is still using me to help and inspire others and one day the story of my struggle may be an inspiration for someone else. God is always using us to teach others, to inspire others. Beau was definitely an inspiration to me and I will never, ever forget him. He will always hold a special place in my heart. I realize now that I cannot dwell on the way that Beau left this earth. I want to remember Beau riding around the nurses/ station in the wagon with his hands behind his head, smiling with the pappy in his mouth, passing out candy to all the nurses and doctors. That's my Beau Stanley.  Felisha is right – Beau was always a giver and a helper. He gave so much too so many.  He will always be remembered for his crystal blue eyes, big smile and the love he had for his family, extended family and friends.  God created Beau.  He was wonderfully made.  Psalm 139:13-16  For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderfull, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place (womb).  When I was woven together (planned) in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.  Love, Grammy

Good afternoon!  Christmas came and went quickly.  There is so much build up then it’s over in a few hours.  Christmas can be a joyous time of year but it can also be a depressing time of year.  Our family made it through Christmas this year but it was not easy.  I think I speak for everyone when I say it was probably the most difficult Christmas we’ve ever had.  But, God was with us and will continue to be with us in the months and years ahead.  We will continue to trust and have faith in him even when the days seem insurmountable.  When we have questions we can’t answer, we will trust in God.  When it’s dark and we can’t find our way out of the darkness, we will trust in God.  When the pain is unbearable, we will trust in God.  Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.  I think we all tend to forget sometimes what Christmas is really about – the birth of Jesus.  I want to share a poem with you that remind us all what Christmas is really about.  God Bless!!  Love, Grammy

Jesus is better than Santa.

Good evening all!  What a beautiful day it has been today.  I know this is “Beau’s Business” but today I want to share a letter with you.  It’s Christmas Eve and I don’t think Beau would mind us taking a look back at this night long, long ago.  This letter is from one of the shepherds that the angels appeared to on the night Baby Jesus was born.  He wrote it to his brother, Mathias, trying to explain what he witnessed that night.  It was penned by Sharon Jayne’s and she tried to imagine what it would have been like to be one of the shepherds that visited Jesus at his birth. 

Luke 2:15 (NIV) When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

Dear Mathias:

As I am writing you this letter, my hand is still a bit shaky. I’m not sure it will ever stop. But I must tell you about an incredible experience that happened to Matthew, Simeon, Levi, and me, two weeks ago. As usual, we were watching our sheep on a hillside east of Bethlehem. I was on the night watch and the others were sleeping. There was something unusual about the night sky that night. I can’t explain it, really. Like heat reflecting off the desert sand, the stars seemed to be jockeying into place, fidgeting and restless in their usual stayed positions. Diamonds danced on the inky backdrop rather than standing sure and still. Even the sheep seemed to notice the heavenly mirage.

       Then it happened. As if a curtain was pulled back, I saw what was stirring the stars….angels! Yes, angels, angels, everywhere. Immediately, the others awoke to the celestial lights, flapping of wings and the resonation of undistinguishable singing.

       At first, only one spoke. “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

       Then, the curtain was drawn back even more and the sky was filled with angels! “Glory to God in the highest!” they sang, “and on earth peace to men on whom His favor rests.”

       The flapping of their wings stirred the air, whipped our hair, and blew our tunics in all directions. Amazingly, the sheep were calm during this majestic occurrence. It was almost as if this were nothing unusual happening. Perhaps this was not the first time they had seen an angel. Who knows? We, on the other hand, were awestruck. Tears streamed down our dusty cheeks. We fell to our knees, marveling at the beauty of heaven displayed before us.

       Then quietly and slowly, the curtain returned and the angels were no more. We rose to our feet and began to run in the direction of Bethlehem to see this babe. How did we know where to go?

       Mathias, the only way I know how to explain it is to think of my relationship to my sheep. When I am grazing in a field with several of my friends and their flocks, our sheep get all mixed together. Sometimes five different flocks can be mingled together at one time, but as soon as I call to my sheep, they separate from the others and follow me home. They know my voice. Each and every one of them can distinguish the voice of their shepherd and they know whom to follow.

       That’s how it was that night. It was as if a shepherd had called my name. I knew his voice and he called me out from among all the rest.

       Where did we go? To a palace? To a temple? To a stately manor? No, we went to a stable. Isn’t that where a shepherd would call his sheep - to a stable?

       What did we see? A burning bush like our ancestor Moses? Writing on the wall? A vision? No, we saw a baby, wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger – just like the angel had said. He didn’t speak, but somehow he called our names. He is the Christ, Mathias. The one of which the prophets spoke.

       Do you remember the prophet Isaiah’s words? “He tends his flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.” When I saw the babe (who later his parents told me was named Jesus,) I knew this baby was the one the prophet spoke of, and didn’t the prophet Micah say the Messiah would be born in Bethlehem? It all makes sense to me now, and yet it is still a mystery.

       Why me? Why did God choose to send the angels to announce the Savior’s birth to me – a lowly shepherd? I don’t know the answer to that, my friend. All I know is that one starry night, I was a shepherd - and then God spoke my name and I became a sheep. Now, my friend, God is calling your name as well.

       I don’t know what will become of this baby in the manger, but I do know this…the world will never be the same again – nor will I.

       Shalom,  Your brother the sheep

Good afternoon!!  Where did winter go?  It looks like we’re going to have one day of spring again before it gets cold doesn’t it.  Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.  I imagine a lot of families are having Christmas festivities today.  With extended families, you have to celebrate over several days during the holidays so you can see all the family members.  Jennifer and Parham had Christmas with Parham’s family last night.  Jen cooked and they enjoyed family time at the Stanley’s last night.  I have a poem and Native American Prayer I want to share with you today.

We little knew that morning  

God was going to call your name,

In life we loved you dearly

In death we do the same.

It broke out hearts to lose you

You did not go alone,

For part of us went with you

The day Godl called you home.

You left us beautiful memories

Your love is still our guide,

And though we cannot see you

You are always by our side.

Our family chain is broken

And nothing seems the same,

But as God calls us one by one

The chain will link again.

Native American Prayer

I give you this one thought to keep—

I am with you still – I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush,

I am the swift, uplifting rush

of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft starts that shine at night.

Do not think of me as gone---

I am with you still – in each new dawn.

While we knew Beau’s time was short, we didn’t know it would come that afternoon.  And, while the day was sad, we also have good memories of those last hours.  Fireman Jake and his friend climbing “Jacob’s Ladder” that morning.  Beau becoming an honorary fireman and receiving his own fireman’s hat. A Christmas party with Beau’s family, friends, and extended family of hospital staff members.  In the end, he was surround by all that loved him and as the poem said above, a part of us when with him that day.  He continues to be with us every day in our hearts and memories.  We talk about him and remember fondly the good times.  Beau will live on because we talk about him and keep his memories alive. I can’t stop being a Grammy so every time I get Kayla something I still get Beau a little something.  Jen and I found some yellow rubber ducks the other day.  G-Paw is trying to paint them red as I write this update.  Hopefully, the paint I bought will stick to them.  Kayla wants to put it with his red fire truck under his little Christmas tree.  And, as the Native American prayer says, Beau is still with us – we feel his hugs when the wind blows – we feel his kisses in the gentle rain - he’ll be there when I see a flock of flying geese – he’s in the sunrises and sunsets.  Don’t be sad when you think of him.  Beau wouldn’t want that.  Thank God for the time we shared and know Beau is happy and content in Heaven with Jesus this year.  Psalm 73:23-26  Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.  You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.  Whom have I in heaven but you?  And earth has nothing I desire besides you.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and portion forever.   God Bless!  Love, Grammy

Good evening all!  Please say a little prayer for Jennifer tonight that she gets a good night’s rest.  She had to go to the emergency room late last night with a kidney stone.  They gave her fluids and pain medicine and she was back at home about 5 am.  She’s rested all day and finally passed the stone around 5 pm.  It is the second one she has had this year.  Jennifer loves to scrapbook and so does two of her friends from work Karen and Mandy.  They got together to scrapbook when Beau was about a year old.  You know from the updates from this past year he loved being close to his mommy.  Well, this night was no different.  He was sitting in his bouncy seat while they were scrapbooking and he kept fussing for his mommy.  So, finally, Jennifer put her foot up where Beau could reach it and he held on to her big toe the rest of the night.  Jennifer, Karen and Mandy laughed and laughed.  They thought it was so precious how he didn't care what he was holding as long as it was some part of Jennifer.  They didn’t think about taking a picture at the moment but now wish they had.  Tonight I want to share a story sent to me by Anthony Ayscue a nurse in the radiology department and a friend of Jennifer’s and Beau. Here is what he said in his email to me about Beau and how he impacted his life.  I was really moved by this story because I thought of how loving Beau was. He always had a way to brighten up a room.  I know everyone in Radiology talked about him and the impact he made in their lives.  I have shared many times since to the inmates I minister to in prison on how if God can use a little boy like Beau to change people's lives for Jesus, he can use them as well. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of his life. I am forever grateful.  Thank you.

She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: "is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?"  The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it."  Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care anymore? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?"  The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university."  Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. "Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.
The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold.  Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could."   Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room.  She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She lay down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep. It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Lying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said:
"Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say "I Love You". I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD!  And guess what, Mom?  I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom?  God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'Where was He when I needed him?' "God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross.  He was right there, as He always is with all His children.  Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper.  Isn't that cool?  I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food will be great.  Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?
Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.   Mathew 18:10…For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.  I can just see Beau writing a letter like this to his mommy and daddy.  He wouldn’t want them to be sad and he would want them to know how much he loved being in Heaven with Jesus.  Every day I continue to get emails and messages are left on this site telling how much Beau has impacted someone’s life.  What an awesome legacy this precious little warrior leaves behind.  Thank you God!  God Bless!!  Love, Grammy

We have talked so much about how God used Beau over this past year to reach out and touch so many peoples’ lives all over the world.  How God took something bad and used it for His glory.  A child who had no sin, who did not judge people, who loved you because you were you and not because of whom you were or what you wore.  An innocent child who radiated love and won the hearts of all who spent time with him and read about him on this site.  Beau was only with us for a little over 2 yrs. But, because of this beast called neuroblastoma, a website was born and Beau’s journey was chronicled daily for all to read and follow and Jennifer and Parham shared their precious little Beau with the world.  His trials as well as his good times were shared with everyone that read his website.  God worked thru this child to reach thousands of people and touch their hearts. A miracle in itself.  I received this story today and wanted to share it with you.

My brother-in-law, Buddy Collins, wrote a letter to Jennifer and Parham on Wednesday, November 28, after we found out Beau’s kidney was failing and it was just a matter of time.  After my sister read it, she told Buddy you need to read this at Beau’s funeral.  He said there is no way I can get up and read it.  Rene told him she would do it if Jennifer and Parham gave their ok for it to be shared with everyone.  They read it and said of course, please read it so my sister got up and read it at Beau's service.  I want to share it with you tonight.  God Bless!

Love, Grammy

                                                BEAU LIVES!

              O Grave Where Is Thy Victory ….

O Death Where is Thy Sting….

                                                1^st Corin. 15:55

       Some time ago I attended the funeral of a dear friend – an old man, who died after a bout with cancer.  He was a robust and active soul – someone who never met a stranger and whose presence was immediately missed by many.   The minister began the service with a prayer, the exact words I am sure I no longer remember.  But I think it went something like this:  “Lord teach us today that the horizon need not be the limit of our vision.  Help us to understand that just because we cannot see beyond the horizon does not mean that there is nothing there”

       We all understand the sting of death.  We are in pain over the death of little Beau. We long for his gentle smile and silly giggle.  We miss his warm embrace.  Little boys should not die and neither should they have to battle cancer.   But little boys do die and   cancer afflicts them.  How totally inadequate we must feel in the face of the death of someone so young.  How hopeless must it appear.  How do we muster faith enough to believe that this is a part of some divine plan? How do we face the guilt that we feel when we somehow feel blessed that death did not visit our child but instead visited yours?

 The sting of death is real today.  The victory of the grave seems so certain.  This we cannot deny.   Corrie Ten Boom survived the holocaust.  She watched her friends and family die and suffered unimaginable times of horror.  As she grew old and reflected over her life, she observed: “I’ve learned that we must hold everything loosely, because when I grip it tightly, it hurts when the Father pries my fingers loose and takes it from me.” Yes, we understand the sting of death.  For over a year little Beau Stanley has been in the thoughts and prayers of hundreds of people across this land and throughout the world. Folks that you will never know have stopped and offered prayers for his health and the comfort and protection of his family.  This week, people that you will never know stopped and shed a tear for little Beau.  Yes, we all understand the sting of death for we all held on to Beau with tightly clenched fists.

       There are but two instances in the New Testament that we see Jesus cry.  The first is at the tomb of Lazarus.  Remember the shortest verse in the Bible, John 11:35 – “Jesus wept!”  Curious isn’t it?  It is ever so curious that Jesus cries. Yet, standing in the arms of two dear friends, Mary and Martha, Jesus weeps.  It is curious because Jesus already knows what is going to happen.  In a few moments Lazarus will rise again.  The man dead and laying in the tomb for days, wrapped head to toe in a funeral garment, will literally hop out of the tomb into the arms of his dear sisters.  Still Jesus pauses and weeps with his friends.  Do you understand what this means? Do you understand what kind of God we serve?  You see we serve a God who understands how much the sting of death hurts.  He understands how our hearts break when death takes the life of someone we love dearly.  As we cry out in anguish He hears us.  He embraces us. He shares our mortal grief. He takes us in His arms and He weeps with us. For as we weep for Beau, so does He.

       One of my internet email friends who grew to love Beau commented on how appropriate it seemed that Beau did not forsake his little wagon for a hospital bed.  She observed that it seemed to symbolize a journey of sorts.  The way she saw it Beau and his little wagon were traveling through the world embraced by love.   Love is a funny concept.  It is ever so misunderstood. Most of us consider it a feeling and lament the fact that when the feeling wanes, we are unloved. But love is not a feeling.  No, love is a verb.   Love is not something that is done for you, rather it is something you do for others.   Beau understood love.  He gave his love so freely to so many.  To know him was to be loved by him.  Without pretense and most importantly without any expectation of receipt of anything in return, Beau loved. And as Beau loved, we learned to love as well.  Your family set aside their busy lives for Beau.  They surrounded him with warm, caring love, given freely not only to Beau but to each other. Total strangers were moved to tears and fell to their knees in prayer because of their love of Beau. Acts of kindness and compassion that emanated from the love of this sick little boy from folks throughout the world is simply miraculous.  More importantly Beau loved you and you loved Beau.

       There is  a Sunday School song that we all know by heart  which tells us that “Jesus loves us…this we know….for the Bible tells us so….Little ones to Him belong….they are weak but He is strong”   It is a promise we cling to today but do we really understand how much Jesus loves us?  You see the second time the New Testament records that Jesus cried is as He stood on a hilltop overlooking Jerusalem. There He lamented over the fact that so many having been offered His love still rejected Him.   Jesus weeps.   He weeps for those unwilling to reach out and take hold of his outstretched hand.   He cries for those whose vision is limited by near sighted eyes.  Myopia is the curse of mankind. Our world is so often the limit to our vision. There is more to this life than what we see.  There is a relative perspective with which we must come to grips. Life is a journey, a spiritual journey. We travel in an earthen vessel not capable of bearing us to our final destination.  As Dr. Scott Peck observes: “We live our lives in the eye of God, and not at the periphery, but at the center of his vision. It is probable that the universe as we know it is but a single stepping-stone toward the entrance of the Kingdom of God.”                   

       This is why I believe that Beau lives.  He is more alive at this moment than at anytime in his life on earth with us. Cancer may have taken his body but it never came close to extinguishing his indomitable spirit.  In my mind I can see him with his tousled  hair sticking out from an oversized fireman’s helmet, tilted to the side…..with blue eyes sparkling and grinning that big grin just like he had when he was riding in Fireman Jake’s red fire truck….and yes….Beau is pulling his wagon…eagerly walking to the horizon and just as he is nearly out of sight….he turns and waves to us in the distance….and by such gesture he encourages  each of us to follow him when we can….for you see little Beau can see something that we cannot  see… for faith is the direction our feet start moving when we know we are loved…...there is something there beyond the horizon…. it is the outstretched arms of Christ our Lord…..

Yes, Beau lives! 

Good evening!  To family and friends that have known and spent time with Beau over the last two years, please send me any cute stories or fond memories that you have of the time you have spent with him so we can share them on the daily up-dates.  Jennifer would like to keep this website going for awhile but we need your stories and memories to do so.  If you have a lot of stories, type them in a word document and attach them to an email.  My email is millermfm@embarqmail.com      or you can mail them to 832 Ray Crawford Drive, Winterville, NC 28590.  God used our precious little Beau over this past year to touch thousands of peoples’ lives all over the world. God was able to do this thru this website and the stories we have shared with you of Beau’s journey with this horrible beast called neuroblastoma.  Beau was doing God’s work just by being the precious little blue eyed boy that he was with the big heart and big smile.  He showed us all what strength and courage was about.  We miss Beau and our hearts are heavy at times but we must remember Beau is well and happy in heaven. We grieve because of our loss and not being able to see him.  But, God’s grace and mercy will sustain us during those times.  Beau will live on forever in our hearts, memories and the stories that we tell about him.  He will live on because we continue to talk about him each day.  That is why I want your stories about the times you spent with him so we can have them in writing and keep them forever.  We’ve received poems and other stories we want to share with you over time as well so if you have one you would like to share please send it as well.   Ephesians 3:14-21  For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name.  I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.  And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know that this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever!  Amen.  This time of the year can be hard on everyone especially if you have lost a loved one.  Beau was such a sweet heart full of love and laughter, could be stubborn when he knew what he wanted and didn’t get it, would share his candy with his mommy, daddy, nurses, doctors, friends and family, and even though he was only 2 yr. old he was unselfish with his love.  Beau is “spending Christmas with Jesus this year”.  How awesome is that!!  Beau wants us to remember all the good times we had with him and to share all those stories with each other.  Let’s keep him alive thru those stories. God Bless!  Love, Grammy

Good evening!!  Today finally felt like Christmas weather.  Cold and a little windy.  It was quite a change from earlier this week.  This morning Santa was at the Brody Building.  He was there to visit with the children and they could take pictures as well.  He was accepting donations in Beau’s memory that will go to the ECU Hematology Oncology Department.  When he came for Beau’s Christmas party, he told us he would be there and invited us all to come.  So, we all loaded up - Jennifer, Kayla, Julie, Brianna, Kelly and Brian, Grandma Miller, Ashley and Kylie, Brian’s brother and his wife and new baby and Grammy and went to spend some time with Santa.  We got lots of pictures and the kids sat on his lap and told him what they wanted for Christmas.  Kayla told him Beau wanted a red duck to drive his red fire truck she had given him.  A red duck might be a tall order even for Santa but he said don’t worry I can get a red duck.  When we finished, we took the kids to McDonalds for “hamburgers and fries”. Kylie and Kayla played in the indoor gym area.  Brianna wanted to play as well but was not quite old enough to do it herself so her daddy climbed thru the whole thing with her.  Santa and his elves had been busy with a very special project this past week.  They made up a ton of Santa’s special fudge and the money raised from the sale of the fudge will also go to the ECU Hematology Oncology Department in Beau’s memory.  The elves even let Jennifer come help them yesterday.  She really enjoyed spending time with Santa’s elves making fudge.  Beau is spending Christmas with Jesus this year but he is still here with us in our hearts and in our memories. I know he was watching us today and was happy to see us all together with his special buddy Santa.  Last year Santa made a special trip a few weeks before Christmas to Beau’s house to see him and spend time with him.  And, Santa has made several trips thru out this past year to the hospital to see Beau.  As Auntie Nay said, Santa Claus is made of love, magic and everything special. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17  Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  The reason for this season is Christ Jesus.  Too often, we get caught up in the materialistic side of Christmas and forget what it is really all about.   It’s the season to celebrate Jesus birthday and to be thankful for our family and friends.  We should give thanks for all we have and as the Bible verse above states – give thanks in all circumstances.  We are thankful for the two years we had with our precious little warrior.  We are especially thankful that God has used him to touch so many lives and to bring so much joy to so many.  He was and still is a blessing beyond what we could have ever imagined.  Thank you Lord!!   God Bless!!!  Love, Grammy                                                    

Good afternoon and happy Friday!!!  It was another beautiful day today and I hope you all were able to spend some time outside.  I know our little Beau Diddley has had a busy day today playing and running and maybe riding in God’s “heavenly golf cart”.   I went to “Malmart” this morning and it brought back many memories of our weekly trips to “Malmart”.  Beau and Kayla loved going to “Malmart”.  There for awhile Beau became obsessed with going to “Malmart”.  He was happy to go to any big store.  He loved shopping.  Guess that came from spending so much time with us “girls”.  Sometimes when we went to “Malmart” we would have two carts so they both could ride, other times we would have one and Beau would ride and Kayla would walk.  Sometimes neither of them wanted to ride so we would let them walk and hold hands.  We would push the cart and they would walk in front of us so we could see them.  They would be talking and looking at everything on the shelves.  Sometimes they would stop, walk over and look at an item on the shelf and talk just like they were trying to decide if they wanted to buy it.  Sometimes they took the item off the shelf and we had to make them put it back.  Of course, they weren’t happy about that.  They always drew a lot of attention from everyone in the store – those two with the crystal blue eyes and infectious smiles.  We went so much that some of the ladies in there knew us and would stop and talk to us.  I guess that tells you we go to “Malmart” way too much.  I was kind of lost this morning without my two little buddies.  Another thing Beau loved to do was catch bugs at Ma and Hodgie’s house.  He had a bug jar and when he was there they would go outside and feed the birds and look for bugs.  One of the times he was in the hospital, Ma and Hodgie brought him this jar full of crickets. Hodgie had gone to a bait store and told them he wanted a couple of crickets.  I think the guy kind of looked at him strange and he explained why he wanted them. They also brought bread so Beau could feed them.  Of course, the crickets weren’t going to live very long so when they started dying, mom would tell him they were sleeping and eventually they had to go away.  Beau held that jar for a long time that day and called them his bugs!  It is memories like these that will keep Beau alive forever – in our hearts and minds.  Jessica White sent us a poem written by Claudette T. Allen and I want to share it with you.

Daddy, please don't look so sad, Mama please don't cry~ "Cause I am in the arms of Jesus and He sings me lullabies."  Please, try not to question God.  Don't think he is unkind. Don't think He sent me to you, and then He changed his mind.  You see, I am a special child, and I'm needed up above.  I'm the special gift you gave Him, the product of your love. I'll always be there with you and watch the sky at night. Find the brightest star that's gleaming, that's my halo's brilliant light.  You'll see me in the morning frost that mists your window pane. That's me in the summer showers; I'll be dancing in the rain.  When you feel a little breeze, from a gentle wind that blows that's me. I'll be there planting a kiss on your nose. When you see a child playing, and your heart feels a little tug, that's me, I'll be there, giving your heart a hug.  So Daddy, please don't look so sad, Mama don't you cry. I'm in the arms of Jesus and He sings me lullabies.  Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for your, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.  This is Beau’s verse but it applies to all of us.  God had a plan for Beau’s life and we all see how awesome it has been.  Who would have thought this 22 lb. bald head, blue eyed boy with that big smile could accomplish so much in just a year’s time?  God’s plan for Beau isn’t finish and He continues to carry it out even today.  He also has a plan for our lives.  Some of us allow Him to show us the way and we follow while others run in the opposite direction.  Following God’s plan isn’t always easy or what we want to do because it interferes with our “worldly wants” so we run in the opposite direction.  I truly believe that God used this little warrior of ours to touch peoples’ lives and open up their hearts so God could come in and do His work in their lives.  How awesome is that!!!  God has a plan for our life not just when things are going great but especially when things are bad.  Let Him be there for you and show you the path He has chosen just for you.  God Bless!              Love, Grammy

Good evening all!  As you may have noticed, it was rather windy this afternoon.  Kayla and I took a small red fire truck and placed it under Beau’s Christmas tree at his grave site this afternoon.  It was Kayla’s Christmas present to Beau.  I anchored it down with wooden skewers so the wind couldn’t blow it away. While I was doing this, Kayla kept saying “Beau it is too windy you are going to blow me away”.  I told Kayla she wasn’t going to blow away it was just Beau’s way of hugging her since he wasn’t here in person to do it.  She leaned back with her face to the sky and opened up her arms are hugged Beau back.  Of course, there were lots of kisses and I love yous before we left.  Amy Chandler Lowe was one of Beau’s nurses over the past year.  She got married recently and moved to Maryland.  She sent me the nicest email this week with some sweet memories of Beau.  There were quite a few of them and I will share a few with you tonight.  Here is what she had to say.
I am a RN who recently quit PCMH after getting married & moving to Maryland.. my last day @ PCMH was 10/18.  So, I must say that I have had quite the privilege of taking care of Beau & getting to know you all over the last year.  I am so very sorry for your family's loss, but, it is comforting to know that Beau does not have to undergo anymore hospitalizations, sickness & is rejoicing in Heaven with God & the angels.  He is an angel.  As hard as it may be to reflect back on the good times at the hospital with Beau, I want you to know them & share them with whomever you wish.  I hope these are uplifting & make your family smile. I remember first taking care of Beau right after his diagnosis & walking into a room of family members who showed sadness; but, also, showed a fight & faith that they would overcome this sickness.  I remember thinking that his mom would particularly be upset; however, entering the room, it was the exact opposite... Dad was tearful & mom was the shoulder.  Little did I know that Mom would be one of the strongest women I think I've ever met.  To say for Jennifer, I can't tell anyone how special she truly is... to be with Beau all during his sickness .... The more I worked with her, she became accustomed to everything & was doing his own vital signs... because Beau wanted her to!  Sometimes when I'd try, he'd rather mom do it.. or we'd have to do certain procedures on mom first before Beau.. she really helped take his anxiety away on daily tasks.  I remember mom wheeling Beau around in that wagon, time after time,, & Beau loved it! He was always happy there.. & that was his safe place.  I remember how he always wanted to sit in the pull out chair & look out the window. .. How he would point @ different trucks & point, & say, "Daddy truck"... cute!
I remember Jennifer calling Parham to tell him to call her cell phone back because Beau was trying to call him.... So, Daddy would call, the cell phone would ring, "Vanilla Ice" ... & Beau talked to daddy.... he did it again, & again, & again... while daddy was in the bank! That touched my heart & made me laugh!  I also remember over the summer when Beau was feeling good.. I think one of the best times he'd felt.. him rolling around on the IV pole with his daddy pushing him.. looking so healthy & happy... family looking so happy & excited too!
We spent the better part of the past 12 months on 2 West at PCMH.  One would think how awful but it wasn’t.  Everyone from the housekeeping staff, to the people who brought his food trays each day, to the child life staff, nurses, residents, care partners and doctors became our family.  As Amy has shown you, we have a lot of good memories from our time on 2 West.  Yes, there were some “not so fun times” but we also had fun and tried to give Beau as normal life as we could for a 2 yr. old who was spending so much time in the hospital.  We learned a lot this past year not only from all the staff on 2 West but from our little warrior as well.  Yes, there were many blessings during this time. Matthew 5:8  Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.  Beau was a precious little boy pure of heart, full of love, full of strength and determination.  He could be cuddly when he wanted to and was strong willed when he knew what he wanted.  I can just see him now as one of God’s little angels.  What a blessing he was and still is.  God Bless!!
Love Grammy

Good evening everyone!  It was a beautiful day today wasn’t it.  I know our Beau Diddley was running and playing in Heaven on this most beautiful day.  Beau now has a tiny little Christmas tree at his grave site.  Mommy decorated it yesterday with tiny little ornaments.  Kayla and I went out to see it this afternoon.  We sat on the ground and Kayla looked at each of the 16 ornaments.  We talked to Beau for a while then blew him lots of kisses before we left.  Tonight I want to share with you a story Anissa Cavaliere share with us recently on Beau’s message book.

Good evening all!   As you can see our little warrior is still playing with the weather.  God had been gracious to let him try it all out.  Hey my Beau Diddley I like this weather the best.  I know this is Beau’s update but I want to share with you what we did yesterday.  Auntie Jennifer arranged for us – Julie, Kayla, Grammy, Ashley, Braden and Kylie to go to Disney on Ice High School Musical.  It was a spur of the moment thing but we all enjoyed it so much.  The kids got some cool souvenirs to take home with them.  I think all us kids loved it and Kylie and Kayla danced and danced during intermission while they were playing music.  We know Beau had a hand in this because Jennifer ordered the tickets Friday morning and we got fantastic seats.  We didn’t realize how good they were until we got there and found we were three rows from the floor.  The lady behind us bought hers in September.  Beau and mommy love the Disney Chanel and the High School Musical.  I think Beau Diddley wanted his momma to go have a good time and these particular tickets came up as “best available” at that moment.  We went to the 10:30 am show yesterday and we went to McDonalds afterward for lunch.  Of course, it is the kids’ favorite place to go.  My niece, Whitney who goes to Meredith, came and met us and we had a nice visit with her.  It turned out to be a wonderful day.  Thank you Lord!!!  I have many things to share with you over the next few months.  Poems and stories people are sharing with us.  Today I want to share with you the poem Uncle Nathan (also known Uncle Turtle) wrote for Beau, Jennifer and Parham this week.

The fog that surrounds us is oppressive, so dense it obscures the vision to the point of blindness

Lost we travel adrift without purpose without reason

Never seeing those around us

No course set

No direction in which to head

Wandering aimlessly in the mist

Then at our most trying and helpless time

With hope all but gone

A beacon of light shines forth from the darkness

Leading us forward it illuminates our journey ahead

Comforting us with its heavenly glow

We navigate through the jagged rocks and pitfalls of life

Overcoming the difficult obstacles that previously had barred our way

Making us stronger in our faith

Giving us comfort that you will lead us safely along our journey

That you will be strong when we are weak

With your light you have given us life

Shown us that every day is precious

That those around us should be cherished

That it is not your size, but the size of your heart that matters

And that you have given a piece of yours to everyone you touched

 
 Peter 5:10-11 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.  To him be the power for ever and ever Amen.  God Bless!!
Love, Grammy

There are those people in our lives who impact us in ways others have not.  They change us, help us to see the world in a different light, and we know we will never be the same because they were a part of our lives.  Beau was one of those people.  God knew that Beau had neuroblastoma and although Beau was only 1 yr. old God saw how he could use this precious child in His service.  He took what sin had caused and used it for His glory.  He planned Beau’s journey right down to the parents he gave Beau to.  He knew if Beau was going to be successful in the journey He had planned for him he would have to have the right parents - parents that could make the journey with him and also witness to those around them.   I have heard over and over how amazed people have been to watch Jennifer and Parham over this last year.  They can’t understand how they have remained so positive and with good spirit.  It has been by the grace of God and all the daily prayers of you out there – all over the world – yes the world.   Beau even helped one young lady decide where her career would take her.  Lindsey Alexander, a nursing student recently shared her story with us and now I am going to share it with you.

Just a little over a year ago I walked onto 2west as a nursing student for the first time.  My patient assignment was Beau.  He had just been admitted a couple days before for a fever that they could not find the cause of yet.  I have to admit that I was a little scared to walk into his room to take care of him, but when I entered his room and saw his precious face those feelings completely disappeared.  Beau and his family were as sweet as they could be to me.  The next week I came back to the floor for another clinical day hoping that he had been discharged home, only to find that his diagnosis had been changed to neuroblastoma.  I was crushed.  Beau opened my eyes to the world of pediatric nursing, something I had never considered doing after graduation before.  He made me want to spend my days helping children like him.  I began to work on the floor during school as a care partner and always loved getting to see and take care of Beau.  I wish I could have been here yesterday (last Thursday) to say goodbye to Beau, but God had more special plans for him.  I know that he is in a wonderful place now, and to his family I have been humbled by your strength throughout this past year. My prayers are with you all.

In case you didn’t notice, we had a bit of freezing rain and sleet this morning.  It looks like God is still letting Beau test out the weather.  He is most certainly having a ball in Heaven. Thank you Lord!!  Galatians 5:25  If you live by the Spirit, let us also be guided by the Spirit.  While we may not understand the mysteries of how God's power works, all we need to know is that God is in charge and the divine order is the wonderful result.  Please continue to pray for Jennifer and Parham as well as Beau's grandparents and other family members.  Some moments, some days are harder than others.  We all grieve in different ways but your prayers keep us all going.  Thank you!!  God Bless!
Love, Grammy

There have been so many thoughts that have run thru my head over the last week.  One thing that I keep remembering is what Gpaw told Kayla.  He told her that Beau would receive his angel wings and would be in heaven with God and would help bring down the rain for the trees, etc., would help bring up the sun and the moon each day.  My first thought when I got up and saw the clouds on Sunday was "ok Beau Diddley we don't want the rain today".  Then yesterday when the sun was coming out I thought "you little stinker now you bring out the sun".  Today we have the wind.  I think our little warrior is testing out everything, the clouds, sun and wind.  What will he do tomorrow.  I know he's having a ball in heaven.  Kayla asked me today was his "boo-boo" gone now. I told her yes that he had no more boo-boos, that he felt good now, didn't have to take any more yucky medicines and was running and playing in heaven.  She just looked at his picture then turned it to face her picture so they could look at each other.  Only a child.  I want to share with you the thoughts from Auntie Nay. 

Sweet Beau, I want to thank you for all of the things that you have taught me during this past week. You have taught me that super heroes don't have red capes or big S's on their chests. Real super heroes drive big red trucks with flashing lights. They visit you when you feel bad, and they give you big hugs when you cry. They even cry with you! These real super heroes make the dreams of little boys come true. The real super heroes have wives and families that are just as special! You have also taught me that YES Santa Claus is real, and he loves little children very much. I watched Santa's heart breaking Wednesday night as he waited his turn to walk-in your room to hug you, your mom and your daddy. I realized that Santa Claus is made of love, magic and everything special. No one can ever tell me again that Santa Claus doesn't exist because I saw him, and I saw how much he loves children. And you taught me that BFFs like Kayla are truly forever. Kayla was truly your best friend forever, and she will always remain your best friend! I have never seen a love so pure and sincere as the friendship you share with Kayla. Thank you my angel for teaching me. I love you! 

Romans 12:9 Love must be sincere. Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.  Love has been evident everywhere over the last week and you could see God's hand in all that took place.  The love the firemen had for Beau, the love Santa had for Beau, the love his family, friends, doctors, nurses, etc. had for Beau and the love Beau had for everyone that surround him.  How awesome!!  Please continue to pray for Jennifer and Parham and all Beau's family.  We love you Beau Diddley and as Kayla tells me all the time you are all around us.  God Bless!!
Love Grammy